Chronicles of a Spinster 54

Hello everyone,

Well, this is it…my very last blog! Your journey with a Tropical Paragon in the UK ends today. I leave this week for my home in Trinidad and once I get there, it won’t be possible for me to blog anymore (my pc at home is not working). The best way to look at it is Tropical Paragon has dropped off the face of the earth (or at least the World Wide Web). If or when I ever choose to blog again, I’ll probably want a fresh start…a new name with a new purpose.

I’ve been through a lot during my stay here in the UK - unfortunately all the bad experiences seem to overshadow all the good ones I had. I can’t help but feel that I’ve wasted nineteen months of my life on this adventure. I’m taking nothing back with me but a broken heart and a lot more trust issues than I had previously. However, my mom got to boast to her relatives and friends that her daughter was in the UK (a real big deal for her) so at least someone benefited, right?

I have learnt many lessons…I’ve discovered the dangers of secrecy and lies…I know I have the ability to be civil to people who are sources of hurt and anger for me…I’ve learnt to NEVER trust a man but to ALWAYS trust my instincts…I can now identify men who are womanisers…and I’ve learnt how to love deeply (but unfortunately have not yet mastered how to stop loving).

When I came to the UK, I was looking for love. Not anymore. There are more important things I need from a man. Commitment. Fidelity. Respect. If I can find a man who is willing to give me just those three things, I’ll be content. There were many people who were always trying to “set me up” but I used to hate the idea of anything arranged. I’ve since been humbled and am now willing to consider the possibilities. It’s obvious I can’t find a decent man on my own, so maybe someone else will be able to find one for me.

That’s the only thing I’m sure about at the moment. I still have no idea if I’ll go back to my old job or if I want a new one and if to start working immediately or after the holidays; before I came here there was a diploma I was interested in doing but now it doesn’t seem to matter much. I do know that I’ve re-discovered my passion for writing and I plan on doing more of it (even if I decide never to blog again). And most importantly, I look forward to being with my friends who stuck by me while I was here – Dian in particular.

Just as my heart began to heal from hitting rock bottom after taking care of my grandmother for all those years and dealing with her death, I found myself faced with another terrible ordeal. At the moment, it feels like what little of my heart is left is being ripped out of my chest. I’m leaving a huge part of my soul here with someone who doesn’t care for it and I’m not sure how exactly I’m going to cope when I reach home.

I cannot leave without thanking all the friends I made here, the Bs, the Ds and my friend from work CB. They have really made my stay here enjoyable, willingly including me in all their activities and supporting me through all the tough times I had here.

As for “The Man”, make no mistake, I still love him, although he has hurt me very badly and we will no longer be in each other lives, I wish him only the best. I’d hate to think he continues on this self-destructive path that he is currently on and spends the rest of his life alone and miserable. Everyone deserves to find happiness. Maybe one day, I would too.

Good bye everyone.

Words from the Wise 54

“There are many things in your life that will catch your eye but only a few will catch your heart.....”

“Just because the relationship is over does not mean the feelings go away.”

Photos 54

Life’s Lessons

Through the Headphones 54

Well, I’m in the process of uploading a selection of music on my iPod that would keep me entertained during the long journey I’m about to embark upon.

I have Christmas with the Chipmunks, Best 100 Love Songs, Top 100 Rock, Now That’s What I Call Music and Classic Disney – 60 Years of Music.

What else do I need?

Cover to Cover 54

When I had finished school and was in the process of looking for my first job, I bought a copy of Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre. Have you ever read a book that you found yourself able to relate to at different times in your life?


Well, I remember reading how Jane went about finding herself a suitable job as a governess when she felt like she was ready to leave teaching at the boarding school. At the very time, I was applying for my first job, and like her, I was successful in finding something that was perfect for me.

Later on, right before I left home to come to the UK, I made time to re-read the book. On that occasion, the part of the book that I related to, was when Jane was making preparations and travelling on her own to her new home and place of employment. Wasn’t that exactly what I was also about to do?

Now, it just occurred to me, that if I had my book here with me and I would read it now, the part of the book I would probably relate to, is when Jane found out the truth about the other woman in Mr. Rochester’s life and her having to leave although she loved him dearly.

Anyway, Jane Eyre is a timeless piece and you should definitely read it if you haven’t already.

Lights, Camera, Action! 54

I have so much to do and so little time to do it in.

However, I did make time to watch two really good films recently about extremely influential men of the 20th century.

The first was the 1982 movie Gandhi starring Ben Kingsley as Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi.

The second was the 2007 movie Goodbye Bafana starring Dennis Haysbert as Nelson Mandela.


What was strange about watching both these movies, was that I am very much aware that they depict actual events and people. Yet, some of the things I saw, seemed to be so unreal…my mind just couldn’t completely accept that such atrocities were really inflicted to people by other people…that it is a part of history and not just some work of fiction!

Every child should see movies like these. It really helps to put life into perspective.